We are Mutants

Aug 28, 2019

I watch. A lot. I have this gift/burden to see your truth, your bottom line. I don’t know why because often I feel I’m out of my lane, unwelcome. Learning to stay in my lane has been very helpful yet I feel like I’m ignoring a part of me that is a gift. I’ve struggled with this all my life. As a 5 year old child, my mom would have me describe others to her friends. I was a parlor trick, amusement. As an adult, when I’ve opened up to a select few, I was put on a pedestal and used as a replacement for prayer. ‘Laura, will you see what I need to do?’ I’m out.

It’s a lonely place to live.

Many love to hear my perception of others yet fiercely reject their assessment when their behavior hurts me. I’m always right as long as it has nothing to do with them.

I’ve had to learn so much because of this gift. I’ve had to trust God above all because He’s Truth and never hurts me. I’ve learned that His timing is not mine. That my timing, my ability to see truth or the answer or the path absolutely doesn’t coincide with someone else’s timing. I’ve learned patience, trust, and ultimately the eternal persistent power of love. Love is the only constant.

I’ve learned faith and fear do not coexist. That fear is anxiety and faith is peace.

I’m sharing this because what I’ve seen over and over again is that EVERY SINGLE CHILD I’VE MET WHO IS STRUGGLING HAS THIS GIFT! And they have no idea they have it. They have no idea how to shut out or deal with ALL the emotions they tap into. They believe everything they feel and see is all theirs! And they are not and yet once noticed in a strange way they are. They become our teachers.

They believe charity and compassion mean hurting with and for someone. This is literally a death sentance to kids who don’t understand the complexity of life and that timing, growth, and simply time IS a part of the equation.

They own other’s emotions and have no understanding of how to change them because they can’t! The only solution is to understand what’s happening and to step back and allow God to do His work and we do ours which is simply to love. The challenge is to love others we must first love God and ourselves. Tricky but oh so doable.

If this doesn’t make any sense to you. Awesome. If you have a child that is struggling, let them read this. They’ll get it and know they are not alone.

We are the reason every mutant hero movie was created. We are mutants. And it can be very lonely.

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About the Author

I'm a mom who lost her precious 16-year-old daughter to suicide on June 19, 2014. I am a mom to two young men and a wife to my wonderful husband. We learn from tragedy to make each day better. That's resilience.

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  1. Don Emmal

    Thank you for this wonderful post and all the work.I feel deep emotions too and with 7 of people I knew gone via suicide the ache is with me most of the time; yet joy and gratitude is in my life too.I am able to help people feel hope and happiness and that helps me as well.With depression and ptsd part of me I do want to die some of the time but at age 66 will leave my end in Gods’ hands. Young people must always be pulled away from suicide.Peace Don Emmal

    • Laura

      Bless you. Celebrate your gifts and that will show others how to!


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