2026 – Maddox Wood – Carbon High School HS

Am I Enough Now?

The cheer coaches announce “Maddi is now a cheer captain for all of her hard work and dedication to the team”. I cannot wait to go home and tell my mom and step dad all about it. I think for a second about my dad, I haven’t talked to him since my birthday. He doesn’t ever reach out even though he only lives 15 minutes away. I know a phone works both ways but its hard for a 13 to act like the adult in a relationship with her father. He only reaches out when he needs to impress people. “Look how good of a father he is, its impressive”. But it is all just a show he puts on to impress people. The second he doesn’t have anyone to impress he is gone. He might not know how to be a dad but he sure knows how to drink, party, and hang out with girls young enough to be my sister. I used to cry until I couldn’t breath and my head pounded, but I know now there isn’t a point. What is crying about it going to fix. I still do sometimes when my cousins from his side who are completely oblivious to the situation will get after me for not coming to family things I was invited to but never told about. When I was younger I did not understand why he would do this, be in my life for a few months and actually want to see me, then nothing for a while. I felt like I did something wrong, like I was not good enough. After that I would always base my self worth on it. Am I good enough? Am I worth showing off? It constantly felt like I was not good enough. I got put in therapy and that helped a lot. The mindset I was stuck in was that I did not have a dad that loved me. I completely forgot who was by my side the whole time. My step dad Bart had always been there. Every game my dad missed he was there. He was there when I needed him. He chose to marry my mom even though she already had a kid. He loved and treated me like his own child. Now that I am older and I can drive I can just go to my dads house whenever I want. He has gotten a lot better at reaching out. I learned a few years ago that it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s that he doesn’t know how to reach out. I was always enough he just didn’t know how to express it.