2026 – Addyson Guymon – Emery High School HS

The Run To Grandparents House

When we are little we hear or are told things that stick with us and we will subconsciously remember for the rest of our lives. This was the case for me. Growing up I was in a very active family, where both of my parents had ran in college. I wanted to be just like my mom so this was a goal that I had for myself. When I was younger I heard all the time coaches, my mom and regular people talk about runners and a runners body. “If a girl has big boobs then that means she’s slow”, ” The lighter you are the faster you can run” “If you want to be fast you have to be super lean”. All of these comments stuck in my brain and was what I had “learned” if I wanted to be successful in this sport. 

I started running competitively in middle school and had never lost a race until my 8th grade year. I kept getting second, but I was determined that I would get back on top because not only did I come away with the win, but then I would live up to everyone else’s expectations and I could keep my identity that I was the super fast girl. One day while I was running up to my grandparents house, my grandpa was sitting outside. Before I left to go home he had said, “You’re starting to lose your skinny look.” I went home with that comment stuck in my mind. Then it clicked. If I wanted to be the super fast girl, who won races, and lived up to others expectations, I had to look like it first! I started eating super “healthy”. I cut out carbs, and ate the lowest calorie foods I could find. By the end of the day I was ravenous so I would eat, but then I end up binge eating. This left me feeling horrible about myself so to make myself feel better I would throw up everything I ate. This was a cycle I was stuck in for months. I finally came to myself that this wasn’t healthy and I would just start recovering on my own. I didn’t. The cycle just kept happening. After a drive one night with my mom she asked me if I wanted to talk about anything. I was so scared because I knew this was my time to reveal my secret. I bursted out crying and confessed that I would throw up after every meal. We came up with a plan so I would stop throwing up, and it worked! Other than throwing up I was now restricting my food so much. My parents started to notice, so I was taking doctor trips every week so they could check on my weight. I had found ways to get out of eating by hiding my food, throwing it away, and feeding it to the animals. As a result, every week we went, my weight dropped. After one of the appointments the doctor said that he was sending me to Primary Children’s Hospital. I stayed a week at the hospital. Stuck in bed, not able to move and just eat. To everyone’s surprise I didn’t put up a fight while I was there. In bed my mom truly saw how sick her little girl was. I had lost over 29 pounds and my heart rate was barely 24 beats per minute. While I was there all the doctors remarked on how amazing it was, I was still awake and not passed out. By the end of the week I had restored hardly any weight but I was doing fine with the food, so they were good with me going home. This had been my plan all along though. If I did what I was told, then I could go home and be in charge of my own meals. That was not the case. My parents got a dietitian, every time I ate it had to be with people, I still had doctors appointments every week, along with a therapist. I was a mess and severely depressed. Not only did I have no control of what I ate but had zero control in my life. Except I found that I could find control and relief with a blade. I started cutting myself which gave me a sense of control that I needed. After a while I was able to eat snacks by myself so I went to my room. Right before the snack I had cut up both of my legs. As I finished the snack my mom came in, so I hurried and threw blankets over my legs. She asked me what I was doing and pulled them off and saw the mess I had made. She broke down crying which not only broke something in me, but made me realize that maybe they only want to help me. I thought that they didn’t want me to pursue my dreams to run in college and be the fast girl because what started out was eating healthy to lose a little weight to run faster. Turned slowly into a girl slowly killing herself day by day until she had no control. After this night I decided that I was truly going to put in the work to get help. I had turned to my mom who helped me reshape my thinking. I’m a person and I’m not defined by my appearance, or whether I win a race or not, and not by what others may think of me. Through this hard trial I was able to discover more about myself. I was able to see myself as more than just a runner. Although some of the dark thoughts and urges to fall back in old patterns  haven’t completely left I have found that I’m stronger than I thought. If I could go back and tell that little version of myself I would say, people are going to say things whether good or bad and that it doesn’t matter what they say because it’s your life not theirs. God has a plan and sometimes it might be that we have to struggle so that we can be stronger when we overcome them.