2025 Maddison Skeen Viewmont HS

A Life Worth Living

In eight-grade I sunk deep into a mindset that life would be better without me in it. Lost in the cruelness of my mind one day I decided I didn’t want a tomorrow. I sat alone in the darkness preparing for a never-ending sleep. When I snaped out of the trance, and decided, “I want to live”. Luckily, I had stopped before consuming a leather amount, however the following week I stayed in an inpatient. Once I was out, life had changed. Some people didn’t know, others walked on eggshells around me. I felt damaged beyond repair. Although I had taken the crucial step of choosing life, that didn’t get rid of my demons. It just softened their voices. Continuing through the rest of that year and all of my freshman year, my days were still filled with the inability to get out of bed or leave the house, countless hours staring at screens to drown out the screams within, crying oceans, and fighting with my family. As my sophomore year began, I quickly realized I was miles behind. Although I had not been attending the high school building, freshman year still was high school, and those mountains of F’s would catch up to me one day. However, I couldn’t deal with them then. I still had a huge challenge ahead of me. How was I going to prevent any more F’s. I made a goal to get at least a -D in every class. Barely passing is still passing. I fought to attend class as often as possible. Although many days I had to leave early or spend time in the counseling office I was able to pass all but one of my classes that year. The next year I continued to improve. Then the summer between my junior and senior year my family started the long process of moving and joining household with my grandparents. During that time, I got a concussion. Concussed and still moving my senior year began. That first term and a half are a bit foggy, but I managed to still get good grades. I started the modules to recover my failed credits, which are hard to stay awake during and take tones of time, but are possible to finish. Now I’m finishing up my senior year, attending cosmetology school, and participating in a sport. My family no longer has to walk on eggshells around me. I’m able to manage my emotions better and when my anxiety and depression flare up, I can better cope with the drowning thoughts.

I can’t even list half of all the tender blessings that I have received, that are how I have reached were I am today, but here is a few. I was lucky enough to find an amazing therapist who helped me for three years. I allowed my family to become a source of support. I had amazing teachers that were understanding and patient with me. I started throwing in my school’s trach and field. I was able to channel my emotions into something that gave me strength.  I changed my mind set to be uplifting and motivational. I told myself that I was what I wanted to be, that I loved what I needed to be good at. That I was good at and loved school. On top of all that, the thing that made the biggest difference was learning that I wasn’t alone. I was redeemable. I began to pray more frequently, read my scriptures, go to church, attend seminary. In my efforts to put God first, blessings flooded into my life like rain in a desert. Life became worth living. I allowed Jesus to carry me when I felt like life was crushing me and I couldn’t take another step. The closer I came to my savior the better my life has and is becoming. My life is worth living. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.