Do I blame someone, anyone for Hannah’s suicide? If we blame one person for anyone’s suicide, then it opens the door to blame… across the board.
NO! NO! NO! NO!
Blame is a roadblock to healing for everyone! I agree that we may experience that in our grieving process. It comes as a gift to lead us to total self responsibility not to stay in blame. It’s a gift to teach us the power of agency, to learn that our lives are ours! Our lives are our gift from God to do with as we desire. Criticisms of what that desire is….is not what I’m discussing here nor care to. I’m talking about how the culture of entitlement and blame is actually robbing us of the very thing a broken heart is in search of, love.
So, if you are angry at someone and are tempted to blame ‘them’ for YOUR feelings or your experience. Stop! Don’t wait or expect someone else to change before you feel peace! And certainly don’t entertain killing yourself because people don’t agree with who you are! Come on! Really give that some serious attention. ‘I hate myself and I’m going to continue to hate myself until they accept me!’ What is that? A recipe for disaster. A recipe for war!
You want acceptance? You accept. You want love? You love! It’s truly that simply! I’ve lived both ways. Agency is far easier but takes some practice.
No one caused my beautiful Hannah to die. Not the people who caused the accident, or the people who delivered her when she was born, not the bullies of her younger years, not the mom’s of the bullies, not me and her dad’s incessant fighting, not anything but Hannah’s broken thinking that believed so many painful thoughts!
Why did I choose the phrase Live Hannah’s Hope as the title of our 501c3? Words are powerful. It’s not an easy name to remember. I could have been more clever. Nope. Hannah’s hope was to change her painful thinking. She couldn’t and so she left. So, WE CAN!
The change, the love, the peace you’re waiting for is IN YOU! Change YOUR focus, change YOUR thinking.
For me, my focus is and always be Jesus Christ. He is truth and peace. I’m happy with Him. Yes, that seems to be outside of me but it’s clearly not which is an entirely different discussion.
I love you. I really really do. Even though it’s entirely up to you, you are not alone. You’re never alone. It’s impossible.
You are love…find that truth in you and don’t give up until you do.
I love YOU.
About the Author
Why did they choose to die?
Got a desperate message last night from a person that helped me after Hannah's suicide. Her adult child has been threatening suicide for a...
Every single person I’ve met dealing with suicide ideation, deals with this.