2018, Aracely Barrera, HWRA, West HS,
When I was a child I always thought my family was happy. They were ghosts to each other they always hid how they truly felt. My sister told me that I would learn how my mom was when I get older. I never understood what she meant. I always had the best relationship with my mom until I was 13. I found out she was like a volcano she could blow up at any time and destroy anything in her way. After that I just couldn’t be around her I just wanted to be away from her. I needed a safe place and the only place I could ever think of was my grandma’s. After awhile of us not wanting to be with her she decided to get married to her boyfriend who ended up getting deported to Mexico. We told her we didn’t want her to leave us we needed our mom. She ended up leaving for a year and coming back for another to build a relationship with us. Me and my siblings ended up getting tired of it. After the 3rd time we were tired of getting thrown around like we were somebody’s toy. She never cared to see that everytime she left and came back she was only hurting us more. After leaving and coming back for the 3rd time we finally told her we didn’t want her back anymore. We knew we had to save ourselves from all the heartbreak we were getting. By the time she came back for good we didn’t really need her I was starting high school, my brother was trying to get out the juvenile system, and my sister was taking care of her kids. I feel like every year that goes by my life gets worse. During my freshman year I felt like everybody hated me and when my mom came back she always told me I would never graduate. I was going to end up like her dropping out with a few credits left. After hearing that I knew I had to graduate to not only prove her wrong but to show that someone in my family can graduate. During the summer on my birthday I asked for the best sweet 16 ever because I wanted to remember it. The church by house lent me there gym for the day. I wanted to throw my own party how I like it so nobody ruined it but every birthday she wanted to take it over. All I remember from that party was all my friends trying to cheer me up the whole time because she kept making me cry. Every year she kept getting worse it stopped only being on my birthday and started happening everyday. She was always wanting to take everything out on me like I was her punching bag. This year was the final year I couldn’t take it anymore with her. I just turned 18 and I knew I didn’t need her in my life. She got our house raided in September and it was really hard on us since my family was homeless for a month. Not a lot of people knew I was homeless only the people in school that I trusted. I went from place to place each week and finally I decided it was time to get a job. I wanted to make life better for myself. Everybody is surprised to hear that I went to school during that time. It was hard but I just reminded myself it was either being nowhere or at a school surrounded with friends. I didn’t start skipping school until we got our house back. I just didn’t feel like going anymore especially dealing with learning or being around people who ask how I’m doing everyday. This term I decided to turn everything around and do better. I am more happy now since I put a protection order on my mom even if it was the hardest thing I’ve done. Now I get to live with my grandma and I still have my job to keep my mind off of everything. Even after all of this I’m grateful to be in the spot I am in today or I wouldn’t be the person I am now. Without my grandma and the friends who helped me I don’t think I could have done it. This has helped me know what I want to do in the future and how I want to spend my life.
About the Author
Why did they choose to die?
Got a desperate message last night from a person that helped me after Hannah's suicide. Her adult child has been threatening suicide for a...
Do I blame someone, anyone for Hannah's suicide? If we blame one person for anyone's suicide, then it opens the door to blame... across the...