Live Hannah's Hope Logo


2019 – Alison Smith – HWRA – Hunter High

Mar 27, 2019

Alison Smith HWRA 2019 Hunter High

At the beginning of my senior year, i didn’t think i could do it anymore. Everything was falling apart and i was so close to giving up. But when they say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, there really is, you just need to find the strength to get to it. Here’s my story:When I was about 5 years old, my dad had a massive stroke and caused him to turn into a vegetable. He was like he was 6 months old again, he couldn’t even dress himself, he couldn’t eat on his own, and he couldn’t even make a sandwich or much less write a sentence.. My mom helped him over the course of a couple months and he made it to the point he could dress himself again. Just as we thought things may be looking up, the morning after we got back from vacation, my uncle ran in and woke me up and grabbed me and took me to my aunts house. I was a confused 6 year that had no idea what happened. My grandpa and dad brought me into the neighbors house and said to me “Ali your mom went to heaven.” and i was so young i didn’t understand what happened and I had thought she was coming back. Once I had realized she wasn’t coming back, my whole world collapsed around me. She was my everything. I was a huge mommys girl. And I had lost the one person I loved most. And my dad was still getting the hang of taking care of himself and he had to take care of me, a 6 year old baby girl. We moved out to my grandparents for a while and I went to a different school my 2nd grade year when my dad got arrested. A couple months later we moved back home and I started going to Hunter Elementary again. My dad was still struggling with multiple things but we both had to eat, we stuck to the dollar menu at mcdonalds for a really long time until he learned how to cook again. We were both not in the greatest health. I always got made fun of because I was heavier and i was always hungry. But I tried ignoring it, but when it’s all you hear? It’s hard to not believe. I was bullied for having glasses, for being fat and even for not having a mom. Something I could do nothing to change. Kids are ruthless. Constantly dealt with this at school. But I still went. My dad continued to recover and I continued going to school. I got to Junior high and realized things were a little bit more expensive and it was going to be hard. We applied for fee waiver and my dad made about $100 more per year than was needed to qualify. So we had to pay full price like everyone else. So we struggled, I went to Kennedy my 7th grade year and we had uniforms so that was even more pricey. Being in junior high you would think i went through everything a typical teenage girl would go through crushes, heart breaks, and they were worried about simply how they were going to do their hair the next day. Things were a little different for me. I dealt with an abusive boyfriend (i know boyfriend in 7th grade come on right?) Walking home from school i had to be worried about getting hit down and hurt. One day walking home with him and his cousin, he decides to take a binder to my back and knocked me down in the middle of the snow, kicked the back of my head not knowing there was a rock under my nose. Blood everywhere and he laughed. And I thought he cared. I thought that was love. But I was able to pull myself together and get out of that relationship. I became friends with a group of “cool” kids and i felt like I fit in. They were all guys and i didn’t think anything of it. One day we were all hanging out at the park and i was sitting up in a tree with them, and one of them decided to stick something in my mouth and I couldn’t go anywhere. They thought it was funny and recorded it. Showed a bunch of people at the school and I was known as the “porn star”, more rumors started and it got to the point that they were so random half of them didn’t even apply to me but yet my name was still behind them. I had to move schools because of how bad it got. The kid had been reported and charged for sexual harassment. I went to Valley my 8th grade year on a safety permit and things got better. I went to Hunter High for my high school years and when I came back everyone thought i had gotten pregnant and dropped out. That was not the case. While being in Valley I got on the honor roll all 4 quarters so I was a straight A student.These accusations being made were completely opposite of who I actually was. But eventually things were corrected and the people that truly knew me, and were associated with me knew what was false. I eventually found people that had my back and I gained a good reputation. I finally came out of all of the crap I was in. Throughout my high school years I dated a kid that messed me up completely. A whole new definition of how not to treat a female to sum up how that relationship went. I spent a year and a half with someone who never cared. But I got strong enough to leave. I was so mentally and physically broken I finally said enough. It was easier to get over because of the way he made me feel as a person. But i got over it and learned a lot of helpful lessons. I stuck with people who i knew i could trust and who i knew would help me get through it. I stayed busy with everything. Then later I found a guy that has worked to get me to let my walls down, he has shown me what it’s like to have someone truly care. Someone who wants to help me build as a person and we can build as a team. Remember the light at the end of the tunnel? This is where that comes in. Everything finally is falling together. I graduate high school May 23rd 2019!! I start college this fall majoring in nursing. My absolute dream is to work as a Registered Nurse in all departments of the hospital. My mom was a LPN (licensed practical nurse) for many many years and She is someone I strive to be like. I’m the only one out of 3 kids that is most like my mom. Every person that knew my mom says I’m an exact replica of her. She made an impact on so many people, helped so many in need just out of the kindness of her heart. She left her mark on this world and i’m determined to leave mine. Being without my mom has been a real rollercoaster for me. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t miss her. And i really wish she was here to watch me walk across that stage. I would give anything to have her here one more time. But hey, I did it. And I know she was watching it all.

Recent Posts





Why did they choose to die?

We are Mutants

Every single person I’ve met dealing with suicide ideation, deals with this.

About the Author

Related Posts

If He Dies…

If He Dies…

Got a desperate message last night from a person that helped me after Hannah's suicide. Her adult child has been threatening suicide for a...

read more


Do I blame someone, anyone for Hannah's suicide? If we blame one person for anyone's suicide, then it opens the door to blame... across the...

read more



1 Comment

  1. Lu Middleton

    You are a beautiful daughter of God – You have a light that shines from within you that radiates to those around you. Your strength is amazing and you will go far. Go for your dream and become the nurse you want to be. God Bless You with the Happiness you so richly deserve. Hugs


Leave a Reply