Recovering From an Eating Disorder

hello, i came across livehannahshope from a friend of mine. i noticed that you can share your story & i had a strong impression to share mine. i would like to stay anonymous but i am sixteen & i am now recovering from an eating disorder. i have had an eating disorder for 4 years now and i am finally recovering. a little background of my eating disoder is that i have been at a normal weight my whole life. the first time i heard about an eating disorder was in sixth grade in my health class. there were pictures shown of very unnaturally skinny girls. my eye’s stared at those pictures & i began to become obsessed of wanting to look like them. I started skipping lunch everyday & i slowly saw the weight come off. i was starting to notice my legs becoming slimmer and my arms becoming slimmer & i loved it. the weight didn’t come of as fast as i wanted so i began to skip more and more meals. as i started doing that the weight came off faster than i wanted. i became very sick. my family & friends noticed. with having an eating disorder I became very dishonest and lied about many things. my mom noticed the weight come off and knew i had an eating disorder. at that point she made me eat all meals watching me. i felt disgusting & that’s where i started to throwing up. i started getting tired, weak, cold, and dizzy. i had lots of doctors appointments. the doctos were worried & that’s when i was put into a inpatient eating disorder recovery. i was furious at my parents & was not ready to gain weight. once i started inpatient recovery i was watched 24/7 & was forced to gain weight. i had to get to a certin weight to have visits & calls. the nurses there gave me a weight that if i got to that weight i would be able to leave. i made a plan in my head that i would get to that weight & then get out of inpatient & loose all the weight again. sure enough that’s what happened. my parents were very proud of my recovery. I started school again & that’s when it all happened again. I relapsed & got to even worse then last time. my mom took me to the doctor’s again & i was having to go to another inpatient facility. i was hopeless & depressed. i did not want to go to impatient again. while this was happening i started track & running. it was a good escape to go to. even though i wasn’t the best i still loved it. i had amazing coaches that taught me a lot. i had friends who i did it with. i made a deal with my doctor & mom that i would start gaining weight. i was excited to gain muscle & start looking healthy. i saw myself gaining weight and had mixed emotions. i had the privilege to go invitationals and do long jump and high jump. my parents were so happy with my progress & i was too. when track season ended and we had our banquet i lettered. i was so excited and so happy. instead of going to impatient i was going to outpatient. outpatient was a lot better than inpatient. i saw a lot of progress in my eating disorder. i was enjoying life. cross country was starting & with my progress my parents & doctor allowed me to do it. i felt healthy & happy. i am so grateful for running & the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. without these two things i couldn’t overcome my eating disorder. i waisted 4 years on focusing on my body & how i should look. now i have my whole life to focus about other things. things that make me happy & will let me suceed at life.