When I was in 9th-grade things started going downhill for me. I come from split parents my whole life. My dad got remarried when I was 12 or 13 years old. I was very happy for my dad and the small family we had. My older brother and sister were with the wrong group of friends. They started doing wrong things and then blamed what they did on other people. They would go around to other people telling them lies about other family members. Then after some time of that, they got in my head. That’s when I started doing things behind my parents back. Everything I did was always getting me in trouble and then even for things I didn’t do. I had a feeling that my stepmom was turning my own dad against me. He would never get mad unless she got mad. She won’t let me do anything. She will say no, you have work or your chores aren’t done. Every time from then until now, my friends never ask to hang out because they now I can’t because of my stepmom. Yes, I do dumb things. Every teenager does. Now, I can’t do anything unless it’s what she wants me to do. If something is not done her way it’s not good enough.
Now I’m 18 years old. I can’t wait to graduate from high school. When I do I will be gone on my mission for 2 years for my church. I will be serving an LDS mission. When I get back I’m getting on my own.
There have been lots of times when I wanted to end my life. And to this day, I have feelings like that. I feel trapped here can’t do anything. I think I just don’t want to be around if I’m going to get yelled at for such small things! Now that I look back at things, I can somewhat see why my parents are the way they are.
Since I have the holy ghost with me, I try every day to be positive about my life. I have a brother that thinks that life would be better with him out him. That scares me. I don’t want to lose my brother that way. I don’t want anyone to lose there loved one to suicide. Life is hard you just got find some kind of strength to help you get through. For me I still have my struggles in life but I know that I got a heavenly father that loves me and wants the best for me. I know that he will never give up on me. Christ is the only one who fully understands what I am going through. He knows how everybody feels and knows what you are going through. Hang in there! I will pray for everyone that is going through a rough time. You are special to somebody! Remember that you’re not alone.